A Short Story

HenryTM

December 18, 2023

Read time: 15-20 minutes

TLDR:

In the middle of the space race, everyone's HenryTMs stop working all at once.

Nowadays, people hardly read or write anything at all.  In fact, even typing has become as outdated as the telegraph or a witch trial.  The only time someone would be caught typing is if something went horribly horribly haywire. 

On this day, the American Flight Corporation planned to fire a rocket to Mars.  Then, with about ten minutes until launch, something went horribly horribly haywire.

“HenryTM…HenryTM…hello?”

Louis Cafferty’s HenryTM was not answering.  Louis Cafferty’s HenryTM appeared to have gone horribly horribly haywire.  The American Flight Corporation’s Flight Team looked puzzled.

“Is it charged?”

“Do you need to plug it in?”

“It is plugged in,” said Louis.

Louis smacked his HenryTM.  “Nothing,” said Louis.

***

Nowadays, instead of reading, writing, or typing, people use their handy-dandy HenryTMs to do any reading, writing, or typing for them.  HenryTMs were the latest and greatest new technology that everyone needed to have and everyone needed to pay a monthly bill for.  HenryTMs helped everyone do everything. 

HenryTMs can buy you milk.

HenryTMs can tell you the weather.

HenryTMs glow in the dark.

HenryTMs have connected the world like never before.

And most importantly, HenryTMs are simple to use.  Nowadays, most parents give children their first HenryTM when they start saying things like “goo-goo” and “ma-ma”.  If the refrigerator stopped working or the house was on fire, even a toddler could communicate with HenryTM and hire an electrician or call the fire department.

***

“Morgan, try yours,” said Louis Cafferty.

“Okay.”

Morgan Grange pulled out her HenryTM and began to speak, “HenryTM…HenryTM…HenryTM.”

HenryTM did not respond. 

“Ted,” said Louis.

“Hmm.”

“Can you pull out your HenryTM?”

Ted McNull tried his HenryTM.  It wasn’t working.  Then Shail Nielson tried hers.  Nothing happened.  Then Horace Smith tried his.  Nothing.

Then, Louis, Morgan, Ted, Shail, and Horace’s HenryTMs all started buzzing.  Bzzzzzz.  HenryTMs never acted like this before. 

“What the hell is going on?”

***

 A few years prior this rocket would not be possible.  The American Flight Corporation didn’t exist and public discourse was wholly uninterested in rockets and space travel.  The mere idea of sending rockets into outer space was a fiddler’s dream and a financier’s folly.  But the President of the United States ran his election with the explicit goal of going back to outer space.  He predicted, that by the end of his term, we would be on Mars.

“Friends, family, fellow citizens of these great United States,” he said during election season.  “What made this world of progress?  Of automobiles?  Of skyscrapers?  Of mice?  And of men?  What turned us into this world of comfort?”

The Presidential candidate pulled out and pointed to his HenryTM.  

“Look at us, what have we turned into?  We are incentivized, not to reach for the stars, but to bury our heads.  For what?

“And we can’t stop it.  No-no-no-no we can’t stop it.  We know we can’t stop it.  It’s too powerful.  We can’t stop burying our heads all at once.  But we can do it.  I believe we can.  One.  Step.  At.  A.  Time. 

“And that’s why I want to go to outer space.  That’s why I want to go to Mars.  Folks, it will be the priority of my administration that we, as a country, will reach for the stars again.  This world, as much as it pains me to say it…I mean it crushes me.  To think, so many lives were lost to colonization, the Inquisition, the Moors, the Mongols, the hatred, the killing.  So many sacrifices were made in the name of expansion and greed...God help us...

“But what happens when John F. Kennedy says, ‘We are going to the moon?’  We birth a generation of children inspired by science.  Who dared to stretch their arms to go into the unknown.”

The crowd began to cheer.

“What happens when our European friends, centuries ago, begin to stretch their arms out across the unknown sea?  We birth generations that begin to understand the sea and the stars and we begin to create a world that is better than our European friends could have imagined.”

The crowd began to roar.

“What happens when our American forefathers dare to stretch their arms out to the unknown, be different from the rest of the world, and Declare Independence…”

The crowd roared louder.

“…What happens,” he went on, “when our American forefathers stretch their arms out into the unknown and build the finest nation in the history of mankind?”

The crowd turned into a frenzy.  Men cheered, women cried, and everyone thought about their mothers, fathers, and grandparents.

“That’s why I want to stretch our arms back into the unknown.  Ladies and gentlemen, we are just getting started.  Thank you for your time today.  We look forward to your vote and your choice this coming November.  God bless you, God bless your families, and God bless America!”

***

Yes, the President, during his candidacy promised to squash the growing debt, address the looming wars, stifle nuclear proliferation, save the environment, and make the air more breathable, but somehow someway, the conversation always turned back around to Mars and rockets.  “The debt, the wars, energy, and God’s air we breathe…the work and scientific discovery that will expand from space exploration,” he said, “will make up for our debt, our relations, and our environment in spades.  In ten years, we’ll have made so much progress, you’ll be able to live in a coal mine.”

He won the election.  And the space race was on.

***

The problem with the American Flight Corporation’s rocket launch was that their “Red Dials” were reading incorrectly.  The Red Dials looked like a face clock whose hands were at 1 o’clock.  They looked something like this:

The Red Dials were supposed to look like it was 6 o’clock.  They were supposed to look like this:

Louis Cafferty needed to make a call to Bill Humphries, the American Flight Corporation’s Vice President of Flight, Louis’ boss.  Because Louis’ HenryTM wasn’t working, he needed to use an emergency local telephone line to reach Bill who was in another building onsite.

“Hey Bill,” said Louis, “we got a problem right now.  Our Red Dials are off and the team is trying to use our HenryTMs and none of them are working…Yup…Yup…Yup, mine, Morgan’s, Ted’s, Shail’s, Horace’s, they’re all down.”

“What’s that buzzing?” asked Bill.

“It’s the HenryTMs.  No clue what’s going on…it’s weird…Alright…Alright…Alright, see you soon.”

Louis said, “Hang tight everyone.”

Meanwhile, the Flight Team’s HenryTMs buzzed and buzzed and buzzed.  

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Horace smacked his HenryTM.  He said, “This thing is useless.”

***

Time ticked. 

Louis and Morgan looked at the Red Dials.  Ted, Shail, and Horace’s eyes wandered from Red Dials, to Blue Dials, to Orange.  Everyone hoped the answer to their problem would suddenly make itself present.  It did not.

It was two minutes until launch.  The Red Dials were still stuck at 1 o’clock.  Meanwhile, the clock ticked on and on.

Suddenly, HenryTMs stopped buzzing.  And the Red Dials struck 6 o’clock.

“Hey,” said Louis.

The emergency local telephone line rang.  Everyone ignored it.

“HenryTM,” said Louis.  Louis’ HenryTM glowed.  “Call Bill Humphries.”

Louis’ HenryTM called Bill Humphries.

“Hello Bill…Yes, yes, mine is working again…Yup, Red Dials are at 6 o’clock, are we affirmative?...Great, talk to you soon.”

Louis turned to the rest of his team.  “Are your HenryTMs working?”

“Yup.”

“Yup.”

“Yup.”

“Yup.”

“Great to hear.”

It was a minute until launch and a booming male voice began to countdown the launch. 

“Sixty…fifty-nine…fifty-eight…fifty-seven…”

The American Flight Corporation was going to launch its first rocket and the United States was on its way to resolving all the issues that ever existed in the world.  To the Flight Team, it meant a triumph after one year of regularly working long hours and most of the time working weekends.  In fact, as the booming male voice counted down, they each received a personal letter from the President of the United States.  Their HenryTMs let them know there was a letter in their mailboxes.  Louis’ letter went something like this:

Dear Louis,

Your efforts over the last few years have been tremendous.  Thank you for your sacrifice, you truly are a pioneer of the world.  I am not a man who tries to say too many words.  I am too humble a man to use my own words to describe how grateful your country is for your actions over the last few years.  I’ll leave you with this quote.  It is by William James, an American hero:

“The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

There is no telling the next steps for humanity going forward.  With you, we live in a better world. 

Best,

 The letter’s signature was signed with the Presidential Seal.

The other letters said approximately the same thing.  They all had the same William James quote as well.  And like any other group of people working on a project together, they all felt some sort of relief that the job was done. 

Ted, Shail, and Horace all felt accomplished.  They all thought this would look great on their resume the next time they needed a job.

Louis and Morgan, having worked together for the last twelve years across three companies, were happy to be done with the project and looked forward to going home for dinner. 

The male voice boomed.

“Three…”

“Two…”

“One…”

Fire blasted.  The smoke formed into clouds.  The rocket lifted.

“How about that?” said Morgan.

“Beautiful,” said Horace.

The rocket went further and further up until it looked like a tiny little thing in the sky, only a little bigger than a commercial airplane.

Just then, the Red Dials turned to 1 o’clock.  The Flight Team’s HenryTMs buzzed so much that the HenryTMs danced out of everyone’s pockets.   

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“What the hell?”

***

Louis’ eyes were on the 1 o’clock Red Dials and his hands were on the emergency local telephone line when the American Flight Corporation’s rocket exploded.  Firey clouds were in the sky.  There was a loud booming noise.  And then another.  Then another. 

The smoke grew and grew.  The whites of everyone’s eyes, they grew too.

Then, the smoke began to clear.  No, it began to divide.  In the middle of the smoke appeared a floating creature with three eyes, six tongues, twelve feet, and a diamond body. The creature made shrieking sounds that pierced skulls and banged eardrums.  Louis had an earpiece in.  It was a part of his contract with the American Flight Corporation that he have his earpiece in at all times.  The shriek banged his eardrum and popped the earpiece out of his ear.  It hit the ground and danced with the HenryTMs.

Meanwhile, the HenryTMs buzzed.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And then the buzzing stopped.  The HenryTMs were back to normal.  Louis Cafferty's HenryTM spoke and typed out a message.  It said, “Hello Louis, the alien is saying, ‘Greetings!  Apologies for breaking your machine.  I can get you a new one.  By the way, the air is fantastic!’”

Time for a Joke:

How do aliens have a party on Mars?

They planet!